yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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