dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
