he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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