I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
