Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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