either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
