I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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