I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
