so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
