he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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