so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
