3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
