More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
