Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
