I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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