So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
