I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My bed smells like the plague
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