wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
