I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
