dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize