just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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