im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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