there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
