marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
