At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
