I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
