I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize