Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
