your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
