You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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