What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
