Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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