I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
