i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
