She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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