the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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