I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
