I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
