well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ketchup is God's man juice
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize