Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
