God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
