she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
