drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
