You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We are all done wearing pants today
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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