Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
