think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
