who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Randomize
