Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
