I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
