The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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