I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
