absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
