i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have fence marks all over my body
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
