Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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