i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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