another moral hangover. fuck.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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