i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize